This morning I tell her to grab a book before naptime. I am going through the motions of motherhood... just doing what I do every morning with her, not soaking in HER. Not soaking in the moment. She grabs a bible story book we read sometimes. Then I hear her say the name, "Jesus." I stop and look at her. She holds the book out to me with a longing look, waiting for me to read it. I just sit and take in what her little voice just said. Because whether or not she understands what that name is or means yet, I know it's not just a name. That name is holy, righteous, powerful, perfect.
These are the moments as a mother when the reality sets in... my daughter doesn't know Christ. This mission field is important. This mission field is real and God has called me to it. To these girls. But I rest in God's grace, because the Lord can save my children in spite of my parenting, not because of it. Only He has the power to change her heart... not me.
So this morning I am praying that God will give me the grace to live like Jesus. To love like Jesus. To do all things for his glory and to set an atmosphere of worship in my home. That the name of Jesus will be praised today.
And for the first time I hear her say His name, praying one day she can know the fullness of what it means, calling out to that name to save her.